Growing2pains's Blog

{May 13, 2010}   New slate

I have now decided to start on a clean new slate. I don’t know how many times slates I’ve to start afresh these last couple of months. Does this happen to everyone? Do we always have to go through the rough patches to in order to slide on the smooth slate? Well, I guess now that I’ve said that out aloud, the only answer to that is…yes. I guess to truly appreciate the good in your life you would have to go through some horribe phase. It’s just that sometimes when one is going through these hard times, you feel as if you’ll never see the light at the end of the tunnel. One sometimes in a lot of times feel like not waking up, just curling up in bed and let the world just pass you by. But hten again once that bad phase has passed by, you ask youself..”was all that worth it, were all those unworthy emotions really worth the time of my day”.

So now I’m staritng on a clean slate. all these growing pains..I say again….”make me stronger”. The more I prophecise this, the more I indeed feel that these pains…are worth it. It’s like labour pains, once they are gone and you hold your little angel in your hands….you realise that God has entrusted you with taking care of this precious little human being, that’s when you internalise and accept the fact that….It was all worth it.

Now that I’m slowly trying to discover who I am in this new path, I am content with what I have at the moment. Although longing for things you don’t have is a human nature that we’d all like to let go is still there. I long for companionship, but I won’t chase after it because in discovering me…i’ve realised that some things are not to be forced they happen naturally.

In this clean slate I let go of You, I move on and accept that it just wasn’t meant to be. And stand firm for what I want and what I do not want. Maybe MV could give what I need but its just not what I need right now. So because there’s no clarity, I move on to where my view will be clear. It’s a clean slate with a better view.

Clean Slate!!!


{May 10, 2010}   *sigh*

Growing up really has it’s ups and downs and discovering what you really are about is a really difficult thing in this day and age. I still feel that I do not honestly know who I am and that does not leave a sweet taste in my mouth at all. I mean really…how am I going to know exactly what I need if I don’t know who its for. A lot our personalities are molded by our environment, our work and friends that surround us. Going on a journey to self-disovery is a long and difficult one and trying to find what you really are about is even more painful. This requires putting your foot down and ensuring that everything that you do is to make sure that the only who one who should matter is the only one who matters after all, and that is ME!!! Not succumbing to the pressures of what seems normal amongst our environment and according to friends .

So this has left me sighing, as I realise that to discover and make me happy, I have to go on to this journey by myself. I have to be with me and know who and what I’m about before I know who I want or need in my life. Although it’s scary and somewhat not sure if you are ready to part with the comfort of just sailing through life, I’m excited about this self-discovery journey.

It is the growing pains that I have to endure to enjoy what lies ahead. It is a journey that I indeed look forward to and with God’s help and Him beside me at all times I know I’m stronger these growing pains. It’s a path that will lead to a Magnificent ME that I ought to be and this leaves me sighing an excited yet anxiuos deep sigh. And I know that these growing pains only make stronger….Coz we know that what doesn’t kill you only makes u stronger.

{May 7, 2010}   Hello world!

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